23 5 / 2012
I thought this was a great idea for a blog post yesterday. Just that, nothing else. I forgot to post and it’s irrelevant on Tuesday. I also cannot use it next Monday because… Wait for it…. I quit. I finally did it. The problem is, I’m poor! What the hell am I going to do now??
Blanked out for a minute and just stared. This is happening more and more frequently. The bucket list is somewhat happening, and not even intentionally.
I wrote this 4 weeks ago. 4. I guess I got distracted?
In a nutshell, I quit, been broke, got a new job, smiled a little more in my days. Met someone new. Became somewhat smittened. Got annoyed. Realized “someone needs to take a good, hard look in the mirror.” Decided to relax and roll with the punches. I’m pretty laid back, kind of lazy, but i seriously judge too often. It’s never anything major. I will start to just hate someone’s face if they simply agree with the fact that Jennifer Lopez should have a singing career. Easy as that. I don’t know what it is I’m looking for, and realize that I don’t want to be looking for anything at all, I’m just in that stage of my life. I can try and convince myself, but I’m waiting for the connection. The surprisingly intense passion, but the laughing for hours at the most ridiculous things, while a lifelong exchange of witty banter and brief moments of serious, intellectual conversation on non-retarded subjects.
For now though, I’ll continue to be young and moronic. Except Monday through Friday. I’m a real person now.
08 5 / 2012
I have nothing more to complain about. The kid has landed a new job. How you like me now? Although, the misery and bitching is what keeps the writing constant, I realize I just complain for the hell of it, along with the entertainment and laughs it brings me. Screw ya’ll. I guess it’s time to laugh at actual, funny things. The self deprecation thing is getting old. I’m growing up. It’s scary as shit, but I’m pretty psyched about it. I’m sitting in a very awkward position.
After leaving my place of employment, I went a little cray- casually decided to dye my hair “ombre”. Welp… I’m a blonde bombshell. Naturally, my next step was to get a tan. Sure, I’ll go to Florida, Dad. My parents live a lavish life of traveling the globe. They seriously effing deserve it though. Retired P.O.’s going hard these days. Since, I’m in between jobs, why the hell would I not join? (Fo’ free.) So, now, I’m in the Fort Lauderdale condo, lonely burnt Puerto Rican, listening to the kid upstairs opening and closing his closet doors. I have yet to meet this mystery manchild, but I know he drives a black Camero, that I’m pretty positive, is in fact the Bat Mobile.
My sunburn has completely amazed me. I am enviously brown-skinned year round in comparison to my Caucasian friends (no offense, guys) yet somehow, even after applying SPF 30 I have grown to be a blotchy red ROCK LOBSTER on my chest, top of my arms, the line right below my tits and along my bathing suit bottom. Ok. Along the line of the bathing suit can be explained by careless application of sunscreen, however, my dark, brown, tan forehead is completely offsetting my rudolph the red nose reindeer (not to mention inflamed and red along the sides of the nose, as if I fell asleep for months with a Biore strip on my face) and still very pale and white cheeks. This looks awesome.
I’ve decided that there seriously are only a small number of people that entertain me. Seriously, and truly, ENTERTAIN me. I will always be kind. I will always be polite. I will always be nice. If I do not find you funny. I do not apologize for that. At all. Is that bitchy? I seriously find a handful of people funny. I may find some of the things others say funny at times. That doesn’t mean I find you funny enough to be around or talk to on a consistent basis. Although, I do find traits in people that amuse me, but I get bored easily. I either sound like a horrible human being, or I make no sense at all. It’s late, I’m tired, and hot. Very hot. Sweating.
I don’t have much to say. Partially because this has become less of a private diary since I have told too many people I blog. I’ll get back into the swing of being awkward and ridiculous, I’m sure.
Tiny dancer’s new blog literally had me in tears laughing #cerealthinking
11 4 / 2012
“Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.” …That sounds like a horrible idea. Why do people give awful advice like this? Only mean girls and mobwives would partake in such misery. I understand the concept but my thoughts are why do you have enemies at all? You’re not a superhero nor is this medieval times. (Although, I would be intrigued if invited to a jousting duel.) I just mean, if people don’t like you, cut your losses. If people are inevitably going to screw you over, take them as a lessons learned, just don’t dwell on it. A lot of time and energy can be wasted over petty bullshit. I’m guilty of it myself, like millions of others. Maybe they are the things you have to go through to come out stronger. Which brings me to my second cliche quote of this post, “if I knew then, what I know now.”
I honestly have no rhyme or reason to be writing these things, I’m just letting my thumbs do the talking I guess. My mind goes on tangents and I just let it wander. Maybe some day I’ll have a point to at least one story.
05 4 / 2012
The girl in front of me is reading “Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang” for what appears to be the first time. I’m eyeballing her and smirking like I know what’s about to happen, laughing when she does… I’m happy for her. God, I’m creepy. Why do i do things like this? I mean, honestly it’s only a passing moment, but weird feelings like this will stick with me for a lifetime.
I need a new funny book to read. I attempted the Hunger Games (not a funny book) only because I felt like I had to, like I owe it to society or something. I just can’t keep focused on a story line that is so unreal. (I really cant keep focused on much.) But I can pretty much garuntee, like the twilight saga, Harry potter series, and much of my high school reading assignments… I’ll wait to see the movie… On dvd… Or hbo. Sweet writer.
I need to start challenging myself more. Actually, I need to fill my prescription. With the move to Hoboken, I’ve had to find some new doctors via zocdoc. Excellent website. If I actually had followers, that would be a plug… or at the very least a push for my resume to be seen by them. Anyway, I’m hoping to lose the Ritalin not only because it makes me sound like I’m a hyperactive 8 year old but in actuality, it makes me terribly sleepy. I always thought it was funny to see my college peers and their reaction to adderall during finals weeks and all nighters. To me, I finally felt useful and normal, whereas I would see in others a slight parallel to methamphetamine users on intervention minus the facial scabs, and a weird addition of gnawed bendy straw next to a tab energy drink. (remember TAB?!)
I don’t know why I think it’s okay to take wardrobe risks in the city. I can throw on any weird combination in my closet and say “this works,” and then two hours later I loathe myself like what was I thinking with these parachute pants and why do I still own them? Yes, parachute pants - circa Christina Aguilara, “Genie In A Bottle.” I seriously am ridiculous. I constantly say, I’m just waiting for my reality show contract to come in the mail. Reality stars get paid to be absurd, drink, and lunch. All in excess. I can do that. I just have a very strong feeling my parents would love me less if I was on a reality show.
02 4 / 2012
I’ve been a big grouch these past couple of days. Let’s just call a spade a spade, I’ve been a real bitch. People unintentionally get on my nerves, I instantly judge, snap, bite my tongue, give death stares that can pierce a soul, cry over the fact that my room is a mess, cannot get enough food in me, cry over the fact that I’m so fat, eat again. A pimple arises in the oddest of places, currently is above my lip and can easily be mistaken for a herpe, tear up again. A trip to the loo (?) and then it makes sense. This is not my favorite thing to be writing about but it’s life, I’m bitter, it’s Monday (a manic Monday), I’m a female. I’m done with you for now. Bye.
The crabby patty.
28 3 / 2012
Do you ever feel like you’re drowning? Like things are just never going to start looking up? Do you ever think that time is elapsing and the world is moving forward while you’re just stuck sinking a little bit more everyday? Like your toes have stepped in quick sand and it starts to reach your ankles, shins, knees, all the way up your legs and through your body until it reaches your head, and breathing is becoming harder and harder as you are dramatically gasping for air?…… No? … Just me? Cool.
I just wanted to write in question form like a drama queen, I guess. The funny thing is, I do feel stuck often, and hopeless, clearly, but I think the thing is to make the most of what you were handed, keep optimistic, because the sadder you are in your own head, the less people will want to be around you. That is depressing. The key to overcoming sadness or angst is knowing there is light at the end of the tunnel. Everyone goes through bullshit, it’s a part of life and it’s inevitable. But you can’t sit around and just let life shit on you. You have to make things happen for yourself. This is the part of life that I’m in right now and it kind of sucks.
I’m confused as to why I just can’t get paid to be a sarcastic asshole? (I can throw in movie quoting and drinking stories as added bonuses.)
26 3 / 2012
So the weather is eerily beautiful this week, reaching almost 80 degrees in the month of March. Translation: the world is ending. I’ll enjoy the weather and my own extracurricular activities, however, I refuse to remain comfortable at the place that has become the bane of my existence. I’ve hit a wall, and reached a breaking point. Grapes for dinner is no longer acceptable. I like to rage, and this “balling on budget” situation, isn’t working for my current lifestyle, expected lifestyle, social life, grown up life, and/or single life. (I’m not a player, I just crush a lot.) Tiny dancer has been long gone, shell in shoes peaced out, and any other tolerable person has left. So here it is, the cheese stands alone. I realized today, the only thing that keeps me hanging on… My puerto rican maintenance man who regularly gives me plastic cups of wine in the basement on Fridays. It’s not as creepy as it sounds… Either way, today, Jose and I split a lovely bottle of Chardonnay on the roof top. It was magical and I was buzzed. Work was better after that.
12 3 / 2012
I forgot my headphones on the train so I’m blogging. It’s 9:45pm and I still have the stamp on my hand from last night. This is gross. My weekends are more exhausting than the work week. I think it’s wise I sit the next couple plays out. I went home for the weekend and took a month’s worth of laundry. A WHOLE MONTH. It was necessary two weeks ago, but mandatory this weekend. I ran out of pants. I probably could have opted for the laundromat but I didn’t.
Running at a steady pace in jeans confuse me. Are you in a rush or working out?